The rain was really coming down hard. It was our first really bad rain fall since we had moved here and I was praying that there wouldn’t be any leaks or anything I couldn’t handle on my own. I never expected to feel this fearful being alone and not knowing how to take care of anything if something were to happen. He always did that kind of stuff. I am sure the neighbors would come and help, I just didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. Thankfully, the chickens were all in their coup and they were safe and sound. I just needed to ride the storm out and keep the faith. I decided to go sit outside and listen to the rain come down. It just started thundering and lightening. Storms like this always remind me of my grandfather. They had this big huge wrap around porch in the front of their oversized colonial house. He’d sit out there and whistle along with the rain. I was feeling a bit nostalgic in the moment.

Morning came and the storm was over. We made it through! Luckily, we didn’t have too much damage. Just a bunch of fallen branches that the kids and I cleaned up and figured we would use as fire wood on cool summer nights. We had just gotten a really nice fire pit and the kids were excited to use it. I put the wood out to dry in the sun. It was such a beautiful day today! It cooled down perfectly from the storm. The humidity was gone and there was a slight cool breeze. It was a perfect day to go for a hike and do a little fishing over by the lake. The kids aren’t used to fishing in lakes. We always fished in salt water back home. Depending on how big the fish  were we would bring them home and they made a great dinner. There’s nothing quite like a fresh piece of fish.

The lake was gorgeous today. The sun was beaming down just right. I felt all the energy flowing and it was a wonderful feeling. I felt this sense of calm wash over me, one in which I’ve never felt before. I just sat under a tree watching the kids fish and play. It was a really rough few months getting used to our new life. Although his love will be with us forever it still seems almost surreal that this was how things had happened. Life is strange sometimes and you quickly grasp on to the practice of gratitude and living your life to the fullest. Here one day and gone the next. It’s so important to live life to the fullest each day. You just never know.

After a long day of playing in the sun and fishing we were starting to get packed up to go. The kids were exhausted and I was looking forward to getting dinner started and settling in for the night. I couldn’t wait to dig into this new book I have at home that I took out from the library. It was one of Danielle Steele’s newest adventures. I always loved reading her books when I was a teenager. I was hoping for a cool night where I’d be able to light a small fire. Summer was quickly coming to an end and it’s been cool at night.

On our drive home I was getting a bit nostalgic and thinking a lot about my past. I caught myself smiling a few times. I was thinking about all the ones that “got away”. It’s too soon to start thinking about relationships, I thought to myself. I didn’t want to add any unnecessary drama to the kids lives right now.  Although I knew I deserved happiness I was definitely not ready, I quickly stopped the thoughts from entering my mind. I couldn’t help all of the “What if’s” that kept flowing through. As much as I tried to stop the thoughts they just kept racing. Maybe this was a good thing. I felt as if it was a long time coming. I tried so hard to block it. There was one particular guy that kept showing up in my thoughts. As much as we couldn’t be together back then I guess you never know what life may bring.

The kids fell soundly asleep in the car and as we pulled up to the driveway there was a car parked in it. I saw the back of a man’s head. It was nobody that I knew, that was for sure. The car didn’t look familiar at all. I noticed Florida license plates, which was even more bizarre. The crime rate where we lived was zero, so I wasn’t too scared.

I stepped out of my car and looked over. It was him, “OH MY GOD”, it is really him…

Until next time,

Love & Light, Always!

Please follow and like: