I decided to take a drive out of the country and head East. I wanted to visit the towns where I grew up on the way and drive a little further to discover what lies at the end of the Island, Long Island, that is. “The end”, as they call it.  A place where tourists come to visit for the summer and dream of building a life there. I’ve always wanted to live there. I hear it’s amazing. I only know what I know from seeing pictures and what I have imagined myself. I have a serene dreamlike picture in my head of seeing myself writing for a living and sitting on the beaches of a small town. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I have so many stories to tell.  I don’t know where I’m headed, I just know that I need to explore. I asked one of the neighbors to keep an eye on the chickens and to please feed them. I knew I’d only be away for a couple days. I just needed to do this. It’s a weird feeling, yah know, this feeling of being alone. I can’t quite kick it. I have this burning feeling in my heart that there may be something out there for me that I haven’t discovered yet. I rented an AirBnB for a few days with the option to extend my stay. I am excited to see what I am being pulled to, if anything at all.

My children think I am crazy for doing this. I think they are already fearful of what I may decide to do. I think they know just as well as I do that it was time for me to start thinking about myself. They are all grown and have their own lives and paths that need to be followed. If it’s one thing I did right in life it was giving my children the freedom to be free-spirited thinkers and treat life as a gift. Being home-schooled their whole life gave them that opportunity. We get one shot at the life we are living and there’s no time to dwell in what we can’t control. I was always the go with the flow type.They were always thankful for that gift that they were given. I’ve been told so by them many times and the acknowledgment never goes unnoticed.  They have all decided to take on the same path with their own children. I can’t help but to think how proud I am for them to have kept the family tradition going. A life line that I am so thrilled to have given them the chance to experience and show their own children and raise them well.

It took me a few hours to get out of town and through the city. I probably left at the worst time imaginable, I didn’t care. All I needed was my coffee and a good playlist. I really enjoyed the scenery along the way. It took me out of my norm and gave me time to think too. There’s something about being trapped in solitude and not giving yourself a choice but to focus on the road and thinking at the same time. That’s really all driving long distances comes down to. It’s always been one of my most favorite things to do, especially when the kids were little. It’s weird how life changes and I no longer have a truck filled with sleeping children as I savor the moment of peace and quiet, I am now savoring the moment through my own company. My own peace. My own silence. Which, right now is a little scary for me to quite understand. They say silence is golden and all we have is time. This is now my time to think about myself and where I want to be over the next ten years of my life. I think back on my life and every thing that has taken place and I still can’t believe that this is now my new normal, my new life. A life that I never imagined would become.

I was driving through the east end and noticed the small quaint village filled with book stores and cafe shops, a couple different yoga studios and a little farmers market. I knew right away I was entering a  tight knitted community filled with people who cared for one another and made it their priority to pour their hearts out into this beautiful town. I was immediately drawn to the area and felt electrifying chills run straight through my body. It’s almost as if I’d been here before. I couldn’t shake the feeling either. I decided to pull into a cafe to grab a bite to eat and see how Saturday mornings were in such a beautiful place.  It was adorable from what I can see from the outside. There were gardens filled with fruits and vegetables that they must use fresh daily. I can smell the herbs as I passed by to walk in. The sign read, “Story Book Cafe”. I can tell right away it was run by an older woman whom made it her retirement. I received that feeling as soon as I walked in and saw her behind the counter with a smile that made everyone feel welcome. It was pretty busy, filled with locals if I had to guess myself. Another feeling I got from the energy I was surrounded by. Saturday mornings must be amazing in here, I said to myself.  The energy felt genuine and alive. As if there weren’t a care in the world other than coming in here to gain perspective on Life’s adventures and the journey’s we are given to unravel our paths. There were quotes written all over the walls in beautiful writing along with lotus flowers, my favorite. The quotes are many of my favorites too. I can see it’s a place where all the retirees gather to commune and the younger who are still working all week come to gain wisdom. There were pictures hanging on the walls compacted with years of small town memories and from what I can see the memories were dreamy. She looked up at me and said, “Welcome, What can I get you”? I smiled, sat down and took a breath that I haven’t been able to take in a long time. It’s time for a new beginning and a new ending-The End, of Long Island;  A place where I think I will  be calling home one day.

Until next time…

Love & Light, Always!

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