We are all moved in to our new place. The kids aren’t happy. That is to be expected, I guess. I knew all along this was not going to be easy on any of us. They are still too young to understand. All they see is, Mom ruined our life. I get it. I was definitely expecting this. I feel in my heart things will get easier. It’s going to be a long road ahead! It is going to take us all a lot of time to heal and get used to our “new normal”. It’s just how it has to be.

The gardens out back are lovely, as I stare out to them sipping my coffee from the back porch of the house. I am daydreaming about what I want to grow. I feel my husbands energy all around me. I know he is happy about our move. He always knew in his heart that this is everything I ever wanted. I still cannot believe it happened without him. Truly, it was not suppose to be this way. No one expects life to change so quickly, without any warning. It’s these moments that force us to dig a bit deeper. There was a lot of soul searching to be had.

My oldest son was playing out front with all the kids. I can hear the laughter and playful screaming coming from them all. It brought tears to my eyes. They started to trickle down my face as I felt the warmth of my husband’s energy all around me again. He seems to be very present lately, watching over us all and guiding us in our new town. I quickly jumped up when I heard a few birds nearby making these very odd noises. I felt they had sensed something. Sure enough a coyote came creeping into the yard. I stayed as still as possible. I wasn’t far from the back door and knew I’d make it if need be. I was worried about the kids. I didn’t want to call out to them in case I rattled the coyote. I didn’t want him to feel threatened in any way. He slowly crept his way closer and closer to me. I closed my eyes and just gave off a very calm energy in hopes he would sense my calmness and that he was welcome. I knew how symbolic coyotes are. They represent death and re-birth. Seeing a coyote symbolizes resilience. I knew in that moment we were all going to be just fine. Clearly, he was not here to hurt us. He left. In that moment I felt a certain peace just rush through me.

The coyote left and I was about to go to the front of the house to let the kids know I was about to start dinner. I told them about my experience with the coyote and they all thought it was very cool. In that moment, my youngest heard the coyote howling. He whispers, “Dad is here, it’s a sign from Dad. I just know it is”! I smiled at him and in that moment and said, “it sure is”, my love. I knew things were going to be more than okay.

It was my first night cooking in our new home. The kitchen was my absolute favorite part of the house. It was country-like in it’s style. It captured my attention first and above everything else when we first looked at the house. I pictured myself cooking endless dinners for our children and eventually all of the grandchildren. It was something him and I always talked about. The amount of grandchildren we always hoped our children would bless us with, that is. He always spoke about how spoiled they would be. There was a wood burning stove in between the kitchen and dining room that I knew would lead to cozy nights by the fire. I also pictured little ones scattered around it as happy as can be. I can just smell the wood on chilly nights. I always loved that smell. There’s something about it. Something so calming and soothing to the soul.

Dinner was ready and set on the table. As I called for the kids to come sit for dinner I heard the coyote howling. I looked at my youngest and we both just smiled. It’s the simple things in life that lead me to believe everything was going to be okay. The simple gesture that he gave us to let us know he was always going to be around, even if it wasn’t the way we wanted. It’s something we would get used to. It would be a new way of life. It’s the unplanned moments in life that show up for us to have to dig a little deeper. It was our first dinner together in our new home. Every night and every day after that the coyote would give us a sign that we all began to look forward to.

Publishing fiction is something new for me. I am really loving this part of my writing journey. Until next time…

Love & Light, Always!

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