It wasn’t too long ago we were trying our hardest to stay afloat. The days were extremely uneasy and a little “tough love” was not a thing, for me anyway. It couldn’t be. How could I do that to our struggling children. Most adults were struggling during those times. Many still are. I can only imagine what our children were feeling. My family lost a loved one during that time. My Dad. Unexpected and tragic. If you ask our children they will tell you, “Grandpa died of the virus”. In their minds they lost their hero from being sick with the virus. Thats hard. Naturally, they were afraid. They were full of fear to go to school and get sick or even get others sick.

As their Momma my heart felt things for them on a different level. Things just were not right. Grades started slipping and I quickly saw their love for school and learning slowly plummet. Naturally, I became weak at the knees trying my best to just keep them emotionally abroad. I am unsure if some of them recovered academically. Emotionally, I am still unsure of that as well. All I know is that I became weak along with them in a sense. I heard “things are back to normal” floating around in our school district. Kudos for being positive people! Normal looks very different for everyone. For many of our children, things will not be back to normal for them, as they knew what their normal was before. It’s really difficult to pull yourself out of that “fight or flight” emotional roller coaster. As their Momma I know I need to reclaim certain aspects of being their Momma, it’s hard. I need to be tougher and push them a bit more.  I am not going to sugar coat things here, I am having some difficulty with that.

I truly believe that life is all about learning and growing from all the experiences our universe has for us. My universe, meaning me. It’s the “I am” aspect of me.  I know my children are still learning and growing from certain things and I am here along side with them. I think everyone’s experiences are different and there’s no right or wrong way with dealing with them. I have struggled with the “I am” part of myself for the majority of my life. My children and I incarnated into this life knowing we were going to be clearing a lot of our weaknesses together. I truly believe the pandemic helped us in a way. It has shown up for us to bring us down and to help us rise up by seeing the light. Always remember, light always has it’s way of shining. We must keep looking and if we cannot find it our universe will keep showing us ways until we do.

When I say “The pandemic made me weak”, I do so with a big smile on my face. It was a time of our lives that I will never forget. Not all my children struggled and are still struggling. I know exactly who needs a bit more of a push and some extra guidance. I know when I need to be tough, and I know when to let things go as they should. It boils down to choices, choices for us all. Yes, the pandemic weakened me and the pandemic has made me stronger than ever! I know I will be the guiding light that my children are in need of. The “I am” part of me has grown and built me up for them.

Until next time…

Love & Light, Always!

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