It was a beautiful sunny day. I decided to settle in and reflect on my last twenty-four hours from then and now. It’s amazing how things can change in such a short period of time. My mindset hasn’t been this clear in a long time. Without a plan or anything to think about past today is exactly what I needed. I’ve spent too much time thinking otherwise in the last few months. Everything has been settled with his estates. Finding out that his daughter was his business partner and running his “secret life” behind the scenes was all news to me and it really threw me for a loop. She was very fair with everything. The children and I were all set for life and for that I am grateful. It turned out that they had properties and land all over the world. It was a business that his late wife had started and when she passed she had left it to her only biological daughter, making her his step-daughter.  It’s been 6 months since he passed and it was time for me to move forward, whatever that may look like. I decided to keep a few of the properties and land in other parts of the world. She has agreed to continue to “do business” with me. I guess that was all part of his plan in order to leave the children and I with the life he wanted us to have. At first I was angry as all hell. It took me a few weeks to come to terms with everything.

I opened up my blog for the first time in many years. I started writing a long time ago. Writing was always a passion of mine. Life always got in the way and I seemed to have forgotten about the passion I always had in life to write. Maybe I’ll write a book! Heck, why not?! I am going to start out blogging. I am sure others would love to hear about all of my ups, downs and beautiful life experiences. My life has seen so many twists and turns. I know I can swig this into an ongoing blog somehow. It shouldn’t be too hard once I get going. I was always the top of my class when it came to writing and telling stories back in my school days. Although, there will be a lot of truth in my book, only the ones who know me well will understand it.

The waves were crashing heavily on the shore. The salty air was taking my breath away. I couldn’t believe I was actually here. I thought about pinching myself to see if it were real. Perhaps, I’d wake up from a dream. Everything just seemed so surreal to me. I felt my inhales strengthen my exhales as I just kept breathing in the moment. I had so much to let go of. A lifetime of ups and downs that now just seemed to have made so much more sense to me. I am so grateful to have spent the last 25 years with him. He gave me life back when I least expected it. He taught me how to love again when I thought I would never have the opportunity to do so again. He brought magic into our lives and helped wean me into the version I am of myself today. I can almost hear his voice and feel his hand on my shoulder right now as all of these thoughts have come to me. All the memories that are rushing by and in this brief moment I finally have a sense of clarity. It is clear that my next step in life is going to be to truly find myself. I will live on with his memory knowing that with every move I intend to make will be to help move forward into a new direction and create a new life for myself. The free spirit in me has always wanted to live a life off the grid and keep on moving. I wonder if an RV is in store for me. In reality I can do that now and experience life on the road when I feel the opportunity arise. I already have places to go. I’d keep our home and just live freely from time to time. There’s so much I can do. Right now I will just sit here and enjoy every moment and blog about it.

Until next time…

Love & Light, Always!

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